June 2013
I’m so fucking horny but too lazy to masturbate do you guys see my struggle I’m dealing with it sucks
So I work at the Urban Outfitters in SoHo and today Sasha Obama came in (secret service and all) and her friends took a picture of her posing with a flask that said “Fuck My Liver” and I was like “Yaaaaaaaaas First Daughter”.
you’re gonna miss me when im gone
TODAY MY CHEMISTRY TEACHER BURNED A DOLLAR IN FRONT OF US BUT HE FORGOT TO TELL US THAT THE DOLLAR WOULDNT BURN ONLY THE ALCOHOL WOULD SO HE TOOK OUT A 100 DOLLAR BILL AND SOAKED IT IN ALCOHOL AND WERE LIKE “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” AND HE CAUGHT IT ON FIRE AND WE ALL YELLED AT HIM BUT THEN IT WENT OUT AND THE BILL WAS FINE AND WE WERE SILENT FOR 20 MINUTES
How to get your class to shut up for the entire period: science teacher edition
The person I reblogged this from is beautiful.
No one will reblog this from me.
“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”
—Lao Tzu (via nationway)
Imagine reading a book of every conversation where people have spoken about you.
which country has the most birds
portugeese
wait
thats a language
You could have easily said turkey but nope look at you, ya sure fucked this one up bub
- teacher: what comes after 69?
- student: mouthwash.
- teacher: get out.
i saw a chameleon today so i guess it was a pretty shitty chameleon
mom do you think i look okay in these nudes
